We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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