I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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