Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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