I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
