so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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