Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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