hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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