: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
