Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
