the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
