it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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