Your face is a jimmy john
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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