look no pants
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He is an equal opportunity slut.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
