this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize