I think I can smell my own vagina right now
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
