There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
