yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize