So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
