he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
