I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
His nipple licking is glorious
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