Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
