Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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