Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
