I'm lost and stupid without you.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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