Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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