I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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