im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
