you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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