Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
