There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
