Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
