I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
