I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
