im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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