I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
