Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
