if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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