oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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