The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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