Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
