living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I touched a dick in church today
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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