and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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