When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
