there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You made out with two different species that night
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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