actually, I'm a sock model
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
