Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Randomize
