Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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