I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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