Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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