I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Im part way to drunk.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You ruined the universe
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
