Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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