You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
