for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
