Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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