Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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