There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
