apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
