She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
