Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
