OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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