I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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