Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
