My liver just broke up with me...
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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