those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
